"Coming Home Again" is beautifully written and permits us to learn a lot about Lee. He describes both a complex and heartwarming relationship with his mother. When asked why she permitted her son to be away at boarding school, Lee's mother explains that she did it "because [she] didn't know that [she] was going to die" (Lee 128). By saying this, she gives us an insight into the way that we tend to carry out with our life. Sometimes we regret how we handled a certain aspect of our life because of an unforeseen event.
We often take others for granted because we automatically assume that we have a whole lifetime ahead of us. We think that time is on our side and that there's no need to go out of our way to spend time with our loved ones. This isn't always how things turn out. Nothing is guaranteed in this life which is why it's crucial to do as much as we can right now.
Lee's mother wished that she could go back so that she could have spent more time with her son when he was young. Even though he was living with her before she passed, she missed out on part of his life. It's a chunk of time that she simply wasn't ever going to get back. That time she spent away from him was very sad for her because she sacrificed quality time with him. It's to be expected that once you're an adult, you move away from home and you make your own life, but it's different when you're still a child. This is when children are supposed to learn from their parents, a time when you enjoy being really close to your parents. This just goes to show that sometimes, being with your family is more important than anything else.
Hi Sarahi,
ReplyDeleteI agree that his mother assumed she'd have more time with him, so she was willing to sacrifice some of that time while he attended Exeter. Had she known she'd die of cancer in 10 years, she would not have allowed him to go.
I wonder if she also regretted giving Exeter control over his education. Families teach children culture, language and how to be in the world. He was absent during formative years of his life, when he still had a lot to learn from his family; he moved away before his identity was fully formed with the help of his mother.
Do you think the narrator also regrets the decision to send him to Exeter? Or does he just regret the way he treated his mother? What do you all think?
Take care,
Lauren
Hind sight can get the best of us ....we never know what lies ahead, and often we joke of dying any day but when it hits your family the reality is striken and painful looking back on all choices and lost time...this to me was one of the saddest questions to answer and I didn't but this is the second comment I made on this one.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for the reading
Daye
In response to Lauren, I do believe the son regretted the way he treated him mother. You could surely feel the love of this family in the reading. You could really feel the love he had for his mother and the regrets he had for the way he treated her.
ReplyDeleteIn response to Sarahi's comments I commented on this as well. It's a very sad story and I agree that Lee's mom wouldn't have sent Lee to boarding school if she knew she would be dying in 10 years.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts,
Dina
Hi Sarahi,
ReplyDeleteI love your insight into this story! You are so right; we do sometimes regret how we have handled those unforeseen things that happen in our life. I like, this mom had regrets after my own 9 year old son passed away. In fact there were many times after David went home to heaven that I thought to myself why didn’t I just stop and play with him more, or why didn’t I hugs and kiss him more. I must admit that I took life for granite; I like her never thought that my world would be rocked like it has been. I think, we all have lesson in life and some are hard then others but in the end if we learn what the lesson was, then hopeful we will not repeat it again. After my son went home to heaven I didn’t let the little stuff get in the way of me love, hugging, kissing and playing with the rest of my family. Sarahi, from what you wrote it sounds like you have a good understanding all ready that you shouldn’t take anyone or anything for granite, because nothing is guaranteed. Never lose that.
I enjoyed reading what you wrote.
Stacy
Sarahi,
ReplyDeleteIt's sad that Lee's mother didn't have the chance to spend time with him. She gave up that choice before she knew she was going to die. Her regrets was to let him go to boarding school, and wouldn't be able to make up that time she could have bonded with him when he was a child. I have a son, and I try to make most of my time with him while we are all still young. Sometimes life hits you with the most unexpected unpleasant illness. My advice to all, live life to the fullest, cherish every moment you have with loved ones for there maybe no tomorrow.
The future always throws those curve balls at us. In this case Chang-rae's mother got cancer. With cancer people start to think about their life being a chance of dieing. In this case Chang-rae's mother thought of time lost with her first son because of sending him to boarding school. While most of us think about what the future holds something it is good to live in the present.
ReplyDeleteSahari,
ReplyDeleteI agree once time is gone you will never get it back. She wishes she could be with her boy like old times. She held on to those memories so hard that she wanted to project them onto her current situation. When he gets older he might want this time back as well. This story got to me because about a week ago i sat beside with my ninety year old grandmother and watched her take one last breath before she left her physical form. It was a very powerful and moving experience. So when I read about his sick mother and the cold lifeless machine that she was connected to I could only think about grandma. Thank you for your time.
Sarahi,
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you when you said that his mother regrets it also because its a chunk of time of bonding. I bet it was hard for her to know she was dieing and didnt spend much time with her son. I bet it was hard for him to to know that he was in boarding school while she was at home dieing.
Xochilt
Sarahi,
ReplyDeleteYou are right, we all take it for granted that we are here forever and the choices we make don't seem to take into account that we could be gone tomorrow. I really enjoyed reading your response to this dialogue. You have a good insight on how the story is told and your preception of things.
I can't believe how she must have felt while she was dying and regretting things she had done in the past. It seems as if it brought up all her regrets as she was dying. Doesn't seem like a fun way of having to say good bye to your family members.