Ericsson talks about an array of lies, but the white lie is usually the most commonly used. He mentions that a white lie in essence is assuming that the truth will cause more harm than the lie. This definition is pretty well rounded. White lies tend to be small lies that aren't going to cause much harm to anyone. This kind of lie is often used to spare someone's feelings. For example, when a friend asks us whether or not we think they possess a bad quality, do we tell them that they are obsessive? Or do we assure them that they are far from it? It's really a matter of how we feel about distorting the truth.
A white lie is still a lie. Even if our intentions are good, we're still refraining from telling the truth so that our friend won't feel bad. It might be a better idea to be honest and that way, if our friends finds it necessary, they can choose to make changes. If we don't tell them the truth, we're personally deciding what is best for someone else. That's not our responsibility. It may seem like it's up to us to keep our friends happy, but we shouldn't compromise their trust in us. After all, aren't they asking for our opinion? The right thing to do is to answer honestly. That doesn't mean that we're going to be harsh, we can tell the truth in a respectful and considerate manner. This way, we avoid lying not only to our friends, but to other's that are interested in our opinion.
Hi Sara,
ReplyDeleteI found that this type of lie the white lie is the most common of lies. I believe that it is used in our everyday life and most people don’t even think about it or give it much thought. I must admit that I would not have given it any thought had I not been given this assignment. Now that is not to say that I tell while lies all the time. But I know that I have in the past and will probably do it again. I would love to say that it will never happen again, but that in itself would be a lie. I will say that if I tell a while lie it is usually to someone that I don’t know and they have asked me a question about their persona appreance. For those that I love I am honest and like you said there is way to be honest without being harsh. Pulse you are right why should, we compromise ourselves and our friends trust! So my conclusion is try your hardest to be honest first and foremost. If there does come a time and you find yourself telling a white lie, try to examine why and then maybe next time you won’t do it.
Hi Sarahi,
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you that a white lie is still a lie. It's been interesting reading different blogs on this subject. I see it both ways. I feel that telling a white lie to spare someones feelings that you care about in such a situation as telling your mom how great her food is, then it's ok. But, I firmly believe that you shouldn't make that decision for them such as the sergeant in the story. He keeps the secret that their loved one is missing rather than telling them he has passed away;giving them false hope of one day finding him.
It's interesting how you can look at a white lie in many different perspectives depending on the situation.
Thanks,
Dina Dodd
I agree with what you are saying about not making decisions for other people. However, I think it is human nature to still tell those kinds of lies. Often I don't think people even think about what they are saying as a lie or even as deciding what is best for the person.
ReplyDeleteI never really thought of it as making decisions for our friends by telling them that little white lie. In most cases, my friends are well aware that I will be extremely truthful with them. In some cases, depending in the situation, I may stretch the truth a tad bit to avoid them feeling any worse than before. I will not lie to them if they were to ask me for guidance or my honest oppinion of the situation, and as you said, it will let them make their own decisions after thinking things through.
ReplyDelete