Essay 2

Sarahi Carranza

Lauren Servais

English 100

March 08, 2011

“Coming Home Again”

            While reading this story, I found myself making connections between Lee and myself. These similarities surpassed general and surface connections. Although we both had a parallel family background, I focused more on internal struggles. I had to spend time away from my parents, deal with my mom’s desire for a better life for me, and also experience the pain that the separation caused both my parents and I.

            Lee’s parents were immigrants and my parents were immigrants as well.  Unless you share this background, it’s hard to understand the repercussions that it brings to both the parent and the child. The parents tend to push their kids more than usual because they wish to have them become better and more successful than themselves. Not only do they expect more from their kids, but they also expect more of themselves as parents. Lee’s mother “in the traditional fashion, […] was the house accountant, the maid, the launderer, the disciplinarian, the driver, the secretary, and of course, the cook” (Lee 125). She was a hard worker, something that her son could easily perceive.

            In my case, I saw that determination from my mother. I no longer live with her, but even to this day I can still see how much pride she takes over taking care of her home and her husband. She is traditional in that sense because in the Hispanic culture, it’s expected from a wife to take care of all the affairs at home and to look

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after the children as well. In Lee’s story we get more of glimpse into his mother’s responsibility in the kitchen. This is something that I too felt in my home with my mom.

She loves to cook and growing up I’d see her make dinner for us and I sensed just how much joy it brought her. Seeing her made me develop an interest in cooking as well, but unfortunately it wasn’t something that I pursued. I suffer from dermatitis, which is a skin condition that is worsened by moisture. In the kitchen, you’re constantly exposing yourself to moisture and therefore I was advised by many doctors to steer clear from pursuing my wish to become to a chef. Regardless, I still look back on the times that I would observe my mom in the kitchen and it makes me feel closer to her because I too find pleasure in the preparation of food.

            Lee left his home when he was only 15 years of age. His mother wanted him to go Exeter so that he would have the chance to become successful and well off. She felt proud of the fact that he had graduated from that school because to her it was an academic accomplishment. I’ve felt that pressure from my parents, but especially from my mother. I remember when my high school graduation was approaching; my mother would ask me what my plans were. She noticed that I wasn’t very motivated at the time because I like mentioned before, what I really wanted was to attend a culinary school and I knew that wasn’t going to happen for me. She kept encouraging me to get my act together so that I wouldn’t become another young adult at a dead end job. She’s always had bigger plans for my sister and myself.

           

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Like Lee’s mother, she was “worried [I would become] too much like [her]” (Lee 12).  Both of my parents have had to work very hard to get to where they are now. On various occasions my mother has told me that she wants a better life for me. She doesn’t want me to have to kill myself at a job for minimum wage. Lee and I share that aspect. We both have had influence from our parents to aspire to more. To not settle for barely making ends meet.

            When I was very young, I couldn’t have been more than 8 years of age; I was forced to spend time away from my mother. My father, sister, and I were living here in California, but my mom was in Mexico. I don’t recall exactly how much time she spent away from us, but I will never forget the pain that it caused me. No matter how old one is, we always need our parents. It can be in a very miniscule way or we may share a very close relationship with them and therefore like to spend plenty of time together. I’ve always felt close to my mom and I think that the separation has a lot to do with this. My aunt recently told me that when my mom was away I’d always ask my grandma about her. I would ask her when she was coming back so that we could be a family once again.

            I wasn’t the only one that suffered from the distance. I know that my mother felt equally bad if not worse. Lee’s mother regrets having spent time away from her son. If she had known that she was going to die, she wouldn’t have made the same choice. I don’t necessarily think that my mom felt that she made the wrong choice in spending time away from us. It’s not like she could control the circumstances. What I am sure of is that if it were possible, she wouldn’t have been away from her family

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for long periods of time.  It makes you appreciate your family more, but it also creates a gap in your relationship. It’s a slice of time that you’re never going to get back.

             I could relate to what Lee was saying in “Coming Home Again”. It was a moving story that reminded me about my personal experiences. Lee had to live away from his mother. I also had to spend time away from my mother and it impacted me as well. Also both of our parents longed for us to have a better future. Lee’s mother felt the same way about her son going to Exeter. I imagine my mother takes pride in telling others that I decided to continue with my schooling. She no longer is able to have her daughter at home, but it’s of some consolation knowing that I’m trying to do secure a better future for myself.